From Victim, to Survivor, to Thriver

This is my story. The one that brought me from victim, to survivor, to thriver. The one where I became intentional about my own fate.

The Victim

In 2011 my brother was murdered. It was national news in Canada (that’s where I’m from and he lived) as his was the record breaking murder in a year where the murder rate had escalated beyond what the local police could handle. Less than 12 hours after his death, police had already told local media they would not be pressing charges because they were pursuing a self-defense angle.

And that was the end of their investigation. They ruled his death a homicide, but no charges were pressed.

My brother, and the men who killed him were addicts and homeless. They were of no concern to the police. So they simply moved on, leaving us to try to also move on with our lives.

The Survivor

I remember my sister giving my brother’s eulogy and sharing how we could let this overcome us, or we could be the ones who overcome. Our mantra became “the light shines in the darkness and the darkness does not put it out.” So in that moment, while listening to my brothers eulogy, I decided to be a light in the darkness.

In that moment, I refused to be a victim, and instead became a survivor.

Now that was not the exact moment I got intentional with my life. No I’m too stubborn to get it that quickly. I still had lessons to learn. And I needed to have some space to work through my grief a bit first.

But his death did make me immediately see that we are only given one life. I began taking inventory of my life. And I became painfully aware of the things that were giving me joy, and the things that seemed to literally be killing my soul.

Just over 2 years ago I reached the end of my rope. My life was seriously lacking joy. It was full of so much s#$% that just brought me pain.

Remember how I mentioned before that instead of being a victim I became a survivor? Well that sounded like a good thing at the time, but really that put me in the mindset of surviving each day. It was so essential for me when I was in the deep dark clutches of grief.

But I was now at a point where I didn’t just want to survive.

I wanted to thrive.

The Thriver

So, I made the difficult decision to leave a marriage that had become toxic for both of us and for our sons. When I made this intentional decision, I also made an intentional decision to not only survive this next season, but to thrive.

I continued to take inventory of my life and remove the stuff that did not contribute to my life in a positive way. This eventually led me to also leave my job and embrace the dream of helping other women become intentional about creating the life of their dreams.

And this is how I became intentional about my own fate. And now, along with my amazing business partner Jennifer, I’m living my dream of inspiring a million women to get intentional about creating the life (and business) of their dreams.

If my story has resonated with you in any way, I’d love to chat with you more. You can schedule some time for us to chat here: www.intentionalfate.com/calendar

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About the Author: Learn more about Bethany. 
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